I don’t miss you. I miss love. I miss loving and being loved back. I miss loving someone and feeling safe in that love, like they could never do any harm. I miss waking up excited to see someone I love. I miss starting my day with your peaceful expression next to me, or timing […]
The year of exploration. […] The year of discovery.
I think I’ll be okay. I think the very fact that I’m constantly thinking about things and thinking about myself – aware and reflective – instead of acting rashly and passionately, outlines that. I haven’t jumped off the cliff yet, and no matter how much I whine, I don’t think I ever will. I’ll keep […]
Up and down, and ’round and ’round… Everything seems to repeat itself. I think it’s gone, and it comes back around. If I were so compelled, I think I could make a list of recurring themes in my life. (Thankfully, I think I still grow, somewhat, in the process… or I’m deluding myself in discomfort.)
Rambling, racing self-realizations: I wish I could believe that my parents could love me no matter what. I’m afraid they’ll reject me the moment I stop giving them reason to love me. I think that’s part of why I’m so afraid of failure – I mean, I’ve hit close to rock bottom – it’s not how […]
Sometimes, I feel like I’m too set in my ways and my opinions are too strong. Sometimes, I wonder if my frankness and too revealing behavior are unhealthy. Sometimes, I wish someone would come along, give me a big slap across the face, and tell me what’s wrong with my approach to life. And actually […]
Am I scared of life? Or is it scared of me?
There’s a song that’s been stuck in my head consistently for a week. I hadn’t heard the song in ages (it came out in 2006 but I don’t remember when I first heard it), but one day, about a week ago, I realized there was a song in my head. I recognized the tune, but […]