It’s not where I am; it’s me.

And if it’s where I am, it’s still me. I was looking up at the sheets of parceled clouds and the glowing moon in the violet night sky, mesmerized by how the former flowed softly over the latter. I found myself wishing I could do that all the time – perhaps if I lived in […]

I can’t tell if I’m lazily trying to find an excuse for my shitty habits and self-destructive mindset.

I’ve been taking several ADD/ADHD self-tests (Note: Not self-diagnoses, as these don’t exist). I want to visit the counselling centre at my school – get a professional opinion – but I’ve been missing the time frame to do so. Also, I’ve been feeling slightly less compelled than before, after remembering that my [new] school tends to […]

I don’t think I can write/think anymore.

Rambling, racing self-realizations: I wish I could believe that my parents could love me no matter what. I’m afraid they’ll reject me the moment I stop giving them reason to love me. I think that’s part of why I’m so afraid of failure – I mean, I’ve hit close to rock bottom – it’s not how […]