Guilt

I feel like I just chased my father away with my coldness, and now I feel lousy. It’s just that he’s such an inconvenience and a burden, but he doesn’t mean to be an inconvenience and a burden. For all I know, I could be an inconvenience and a burden to him. Advertisements

I can’t tell if I’m lazily trying to find an excuse for my shitty habits and self-destructive mindset.

I’ve been taking several ADD/ADHD self-tests (Note: Not self-diagnoses, as these don’t exist). I want to visit the counselling centre at my school – get a professional opinion – but I’ve been missing the time frame to do so. Also, I’ve been feeling slightly less compelled than before, after remembering that my [new] school tends to […]

I don’t think I can write/think anymore.

Rambling, racing self-realizations: I wish I could believe that my parents could love me no matter what. I’m afraid they’ll reject me the moment I stop giving them reason to love me. I think that’s part of why I’m so afraid of failure – I mean, I’ve hit close to rock bottom – it’s not how […]

Ready and Set

Sometimes, I feel like I’m too set in my ways and my opinions are too strong. Sometimes, I wonder if my frankness and too revealing behavior are unhealthy. Sometimes, I wish someone would come along, give me a big slap across the face, and tell me what’s wrong with my approach to life. And actually […]

Poof

I wish the whole world would just explode without giving us a chance to react. That way, we could all end our lives without lamenting the end, as we do, or hurting those around us. We could all die together, and no one would die as a result of someone’s actions. No one would be to […]

New

Revisiting a place of the past, it’s never the same. The present is continuously flowing into the future, and things are constantly evolving with the passing time, in obvious or minute ways. So it’s foolish, though natural, to expect a past memory when visiting from a removed future. People change, and things change. Even memories are malleable. […]