I don’t miss you.

I don’t miss you. I miss love. I miss loving and being loved back. I miss loving someone and feeling safe in that love, like they could never do any harm. I miss waking up excited to see someone I love. I miss starting my day with your peaceful expression next to me, or timing […]

Inner Monologue to J

I don’t want our meetings to be Q&A sessions about our personal lives, and I don’t want to be tied down with obligation as a volunteer tutor to listen to you get out a week’s worth of conversation. I knew you were lonely when we met, and that you didn’t have any English-speaking friends. Today […]

Confronting J: A Rambling Practice

J*, Let me stop you right there. For the past couple of our meetings, I’ve been noticing some things about your attitude towards me, and before we continue, I need to set some things straight. You do not know me through my parents, and I do not know you through your child. You need to […]

You’re not an abusive boyfriend that I’m desperately in love with.

You don’t get to have me at your mercy. You don’t get to dump me, and then still be welcomed back with a routine. I don’t need you. Not having you doesn’t make me anxious, or feel empty. You don’t cause me the same kind of pain anymore. The anguish, if that, lasts only a moment. […]

White

I’m loving the fog in this city. The sky is spotlessly white, with a grey tint. The whiteness with which it illuminates causes all the colours to pop, and everything appears with more depth. I feel like I’m seeing everything for the first time, and I can see why: everything looks ever so slightly different, […]

It’ll Be Okay

I think I’ll be okay. I think the very fact that I’m constantly thinking about things and thinking about myself – aware and reflective – instead of acting rashly and passionately, outlines that. I haven’t jumped off the cliff yet, and no matter how much I whine, I don’t think I ever will. I’ll keep […]

It’s not where I am; it’s me.

And if it’s where I am, it’s still me. I was looking up at the sheets of parceled clouds and the glowing moon in the violet night sky, mesmerized by how the former flowed softly over the latter. I found myself wishing I could do that all the time – perhaps if I lived in […]