I don’t miss you. I miss love. I miss loving and being loved back. I miss loving someone and feeling safe in that love, like they could never do any harm. I miss waking up excited to see someone I love. I miss starting my day with your peaceful expression next to me, or timing […]
The year of exploration. […] The year of discovery.
I don’t want our meetings to be Q&A sessions about our personal lives, and I don’t want to be tied down with obligation as a volunteer tutor to listen to you get out a week’s worth of conversation. I knew you were lonely when we met, and that you didn’t have any English-speaking friends. Today […]
J*, Let me stop you right there. For the past couple of our meetings, I’ve been noticing some things about your attitude towards me, and before we continue, I need to set some things straight. You do not know me through my parents, and I do not know you through your child. You need to […]
You don’t get to have me at your mercy. You don’t get to dump me, and then still be welcomed back with a routine. I don’t need you. Not having you doesn’t make me anxious, or feel empty. You don’t cause me the same kind of pain anymore. The anguish, if that, lasts only a moment. […]
I’m loving the fog in this city. The sky is spotlessly white, with a grey tint. The whiteness with which it illuminates causes all the colours to pop, and everything appears with more depth. I feel like I’m seeing everything for the first time, and I can see why: everything looks ever so slightly different, […]
I think I’ll be okay. I think the very fact that I’m constantly thinking about things and thinking about myself – aware and reflective – instead of acting rashly and passionately, outlines that. I haven’t jumped off the cliff yet, and no matter how much I whine, I don’t think I ever will. I’ll keep […]
I’m sorry, brain. I know you’re overstimulated right now. I’m such an idiot. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I wish I could take it back.
Up and down, and ’round and ’round… Everything seems to repeat itself. I think it’s gone, and it comes back around. If I were so compelled, I think I could make a list of recurring themes in my life. (Thankfully, I think I still grow, somewhat, in the process… or I’m deluding myself in discomfort.)
And if it’s where I am, it’s still me. I was looking up at the sheets of parceled clouds and the glowing moon in the violet night sky, mesmerized by how the former flowed softly over the latter. I found myself wishing I could do that all the time – perhaps if I lived in […]